Ladies and Gentlemen....finally it is weekend! After spending the whole week doing so much less than planned, finally i can get even lazier this weekend.
Few months ago i imagined my final project to be the best report i've ever done. But that dream is so blur and almost gone now that i realize my reading and sources are so poor. 3 reports to go in two months. i've learned that i'm suck in multitasking and setting goals.

I do not work overtime and still go out almost everyweekend. now, that's why i love writing, now i know the problem! i just moan too much.
my boyfriend works 7 days a week and everyday he shouts: I love my life!
cute.
i'll go home now,
and ask him to give me a piece of his happiness to share.
i'm not just sleepy, hungry or moody.
this is just the times when you blame yourself for your own faults and you feel like a failure. know that feeling?


kiss
l.l.d

For us international students, the question that others ask to us most of the time is:
"Why did you choose Holland ?"
I always answered by saying that our school has an agent in Indonesia which is actively recruiting students, and that I have a family here.
This answer satisfied them.
but the truth is I did not know and I did not choose.

I've always been the kind of girl who does whatever I feel like doing, with "que sera, sera" principal. I left my hometown when I was 14 years old, with small of my parents approval. Everything was frighteningly new, but I had the best time of my life in highschool,
and came back to my parents with more love than they could handle.

When I first arrived in Schiphol, my feet were aching because of my high heels (nobody told me the flight and the walking would be that long). I used to imagined Holland like Jakarta, a crowded city with pollution, only buildings to see. I immediately hated the cold wind, but the green and clear view of Holland was very friendly.

People who know me, know that I didn't even know where was Holland on the map.
I cried on the street on my first day of arrival, regretting my decision, my bags were only filled with toys, and what I was excited the most was about decorating my room.

But once again, thanks to my guardian angel, things have grown to the best.
Within the past 3 years; I've seen people from all over the world and even manage to be friends with some, I've felt how it is to fall on the snow, I've been able to be friends with the sun, I've seen how pretty flowers can grow wildly without being worried that people will cut them off, I've known how feeding ducks and reading on a grass feel like.

I can not list the things that I have learned, but for sure I have learned that there are so many things that I still do not know.

A week ago, I went to see Lion King the musical in Fortis Circustheater in Scheveningen. The play was comical, but my eyes were filled with tears, just because I really really could not believe that I have the chance to see something this beautiful and amazing.

I do miss my family and friends back at home so much, the food we have there, the place where sun always shines, and where we even love it when it's raining. This typical smell of after-rain in Indonesia that we dont often find here. I do miss those alot. But for now, I'll use the best of my time to enjoy what Europe has to offer.

and just like before, someday I will go home with more love than ever.


l.l.d