So, this is it.
This is the last day of my internship. It was 12 months ago when I first walked into this little office, first thing I loved was the view of flat amsterdam from my window.
ow, how i'm gonna miss the view.
And my desk. My broad desk which feels smaller and fuller after some time. It has turned into a home, as comfort as it can be, snacks in the drawer, novels and magazines, favourite CDs, serious books that i half read. Behind this desk where i usually had my breakfreasts and lunches, working, reading, typing, chatting, moaning, studying and laughing, i practically grew up here.
I can kiss this desk right now.

Last couple of days was filled with fancy lunches with colleagues, "best wishes in your future" and "it has been nice to know you" from people around.
There is no point of being sad.
But am also not happy.
I thought I would be flying touching the clouds having to finish this period, but even imagining that i can sleep until noon after this, doesn't make me as ecstatic as I thought.

All I can feel is grateful. Thankful that JCC was my real working experience, thankful that the people are as sweet as honey, genuinely nice eventhough to one that is just an intern.
Osada san who I secretly consider as a mother.
She would keep serving me water and ocha (i believe she's worried about the amount of snacks I have everyday),
asking how my study is going, how my boyfriend's study is going, how my housemates' study is going, ....
Don't get it wrong. She's not nosy, just being attentive.
She always asked at the right timing and always remember what story and which people I talk about, even if it's months ago.
She would hear my suggestions, she would tell me what I've done wrong, so politely,
and give compliments and thank yous too many times.
What can I say, I love her.

Misumi and Naoko san who are patient, patient and patient with me, back me up when I can't do something, those giggles when Misumi has gossips, their advices and friendship.

Proudly, I can say that my internship is a success. happy with my grade, satisfied with what I have done at work, made some contacts, learn more patience and less arrogance.

it's hard when you have to end something like this. because you know it's the milestone of your life. but if you keep doing it, it's not a milestone anymore.

yes, this is the right time to go.

you will always be in my heart, prayers, with memories at the back of my head, and the lessons in front.

domoo.. nihon shoko kaisho..
gokurosama deshita...

Dont you hate watching news lately?

Usually every morning I would take few minutes to check on CNN, but lately I'd rather amuse myself with the homeshopping programmes.

They should concentrate more on finding happy news.

There must be still some goodness on this earth. Show it to us!

Most of us trust and do what we see on TV, let us learn the good stuffs then..

When summer started, i got bored of staying at home and doing the same routinities..
i was dying to go out, accused him for being too busy, so i had to go lying on the grass under the sun with new friends that i found more interesting.

it was fun, but with the expense of our relationship.

I was just looking for something new,
but when there was no bridge between my brain and heart, everything was a chaos.

the cooling down of the temperature made me less restless somehow.
after many fights and tears,
i know i have to be the one who hold the wheel and drive,
gotta always realize what am i sacrificing just to selfishly get what i want.

bit by bit i pick up on my old routines.
instead of calling friends for going out, i try to remember how i just love reading on my bed with a cup of tea, spending saturdays doing housework and talking to my parents, going back to church, study spanish or fail next year! , and fondly start planning again; what to cook for my sweeetheart tonight.

because it is true, what can you see when you are spinning so fast?


ps. schat, for all your patience during my rebellious period, we are having fish with sambel trasi tonight..... mmmmmmmmm....


l.l.d