My boyfriend and I do not have the most romantic story about how we fell in love. When friends asked how we got together, I had to think and be a bit embarassed by the story i was going to tell.

It was one happy night in Holland, i just came back from Austria, and with some friends we decided to threw a party. So we had dinner and opened some drinks. Before being my boyfriend, he was a very good friend, we tell each other secrets, and we took good care of each other. so at the night of the small party, we stayed and talked to each other, danced together and suddenly: kissed. taadaa..

and that is, ladies and gentlemen, how me and my boyfriend got together 15 months ago.

The alcohol made us not thinking wisely, but the alcohol is not the one to blame for the kiss(or actually: to be thankful to). We saw it coming.

I do not mind telling this story to friends, and i usually can make it sound less brutal by saying "we had been flirting for as long as we were friends, and that night was just the moment". But i do hope i have a sweeter story to tell to our kids someday. especially to a daughter.

I once asked my mum how she fell in love with my father. and she said;
"your father was the naughtiest boy in school and always got into trouble, but he did catch my attention for a loong time"
and my father said:
"your mum was the best student at school, a geek with thick glasses, but a very beautiful one"

However, if i think about it, this is the first time that i can be proud of my relationship. i can be sure that he loves me the way i am, since he knew all my rotten pasts and habits and still stay beside me. when the times of excitements and being 'head over heels' are gone, he is still here to be the shoulder to cry on, to be someone who respect me and take care of me. a partner.

If one day our daughter ask the question, I will say : "your father and i might got together for the wrong reason but we stay together for the right ones"

cry

just like that, in the office, in the middle of the day. Since morning i've been feeling like crap and if cheese onion Pringles doesn't help, i dont know what else can.

this is not me. i'm a happy girl, i dont get sad easily, and i think feeling sad or down is just the state when you stop being grateful enough.

only one thing could bring me to this state for 6 hours and more: regret.
regret that i meant well but the damage is done.

and when what i wish for is a simple: i'm sorry too