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When you were born, the first thing that your creator gave you was the free will. However, for some of us, choices in life are so difficult because we simply can not say NO.

There are girls who already know what they want and go for it (which is totally fine). But, if you are about to say yes to sex only because he is saying some standard "lines" (and lies), check out some ways to be prepared.

"Don't you love me?"
"I love you enough to say no."

"If you really loved me . . ."
"If you really loved me, you wouldn't ask. If you really care about somebody you don't pressure them to do something they don't want to do."

"Everybody's doing it."
"Everybody but me."

"Come on, everybody's doing it."
"Then you shouldn't have any trouble finding somebody else."

"Don't you find me attractive?"
"I find you very attractive. I like you a lot. I don't want to wreck our relationship -- and that's what getting physical would do."

"Don't worry. I'll use protection."
"You're going to need protection if you don't leave me alone."

"I do it with all my girlfriends."
"Not this one. By the way, now I'm your ex-girlfriend."

"You mean you're still a virgin. Are you, frigid?"
"No, I'm smart."

"Don't you love me?"
"Don't you respect me?"

"OK, let's take off our clothes and just be together. We don't need to do anything."
"Do I look that stupid?"

"If you get pregnant, I'll marry you."
"Why wait. Let's get married now!"

"I'll stop whenever you say."
"How about right now?"

"I love you."
"Then please prove it by respecting my values."

"What are you waiting for?"
"My HONEYMOON!"

"Sex isn't a big deal."
"It's a big deal to me, a big deal to my future husband, and a big deal to God. I'm committed to saving sex for marriage."

Although girls can and sometimes do lead guys on, guys are more likely to use these lines to get sex. And, sadly, many girls have fallen for them. A girl may find it hard to believe that a boy is lying when he says, seemingly with great sincerity, "I love you!"

If you're a girl, you need to know two things: (1) If a boy puts any kind of pressure on you to go farther than you want to go, it shows he loves pleasure and he'll sacrifice your self-respect and physical safety for himself. He's interested only in getting what he wants. (2) Many guys will lie through their teeth, say anything, and do whatever else they have to do to get sex. Here is one guy who openly admits this:
"I learned to maneuver my opponent into a position where she couldn't say no. If I sensed there was a moral dilemma in her mind, I would play any role necessary to reach the point where sex became inevitable."

Rehearse your lines and dress the part (dress modestly so you don't send mixed messages). Learn how to say "No" with your body, words, and behavior. You'll be glad you did!. And remember, if you're dating someone that's pressuring you to have sex, you're dating the wrong person.



Source: Lickona, T. and J. Sex, Love & You. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1994.

Quote of the day:
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of (people attending) your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Michael Pritchard

Hard cold fact. lol.

I am just passing through again, just remember: the way to know your goal in life is to think about what you would like for people to say about you and your life at your funeral.

Because there is only two sure things in life.
Death and Tax.

I am distracted. I've been doing almost nothing since this morning . Well, it is Friday, office is more relaxed and alot of chatting around. But actually, I just saw the picture of the only girl that I hate so dearly. and it is bothering me more than I expected.

She posted a picture on a webpage, so naturally fair face, beatiful. She was beautiful I know, before she got so fat. I really had to stop myself from posting a comment for her picture:" this was yeearrss ago picture, you fat cow." i have nothing against fatness, in fact i am away from thin also. sorry. it's just her.

anyway, the story started some years ago, I did not know that she fancied her own friend, and I dated her friend, let's call this guy: Honcho. Okay.............. I probably did know that she fancied him. but i thought it was just competitive feeling and she did not want to be serious with him anyway. sobs. and since then, she stopped talking to me. after a while, Me and Honcho also ended, seriously, the ending was mainly because of the girl's whining for him to come back home and spend time with the pushy little princess who did not want a relationship anyway. She was f***ing selfish and I hate her. Now they are together (finally), the Honcho and the Princess.. and she still throws her face when she sees me!!
unbelievably childish and hypocrete. the only kinds that I cant stand.

No, I'm not jealous. I dont care about Honcho anymore. NOW I can see that he was the indecisive one, selling out promises to both of us. . but this girl.. I hate her guts, hate how she smiles to everybody and then turn into a mad pig when she sees me. I mean, come on, what is your problem?? We fancied the same boy. That was it. I did not take him from you nor you took him from me. It was how it was. And now you have him. you won. (yeah, right).

Everything happens for a reason, I dearly thank God (and you, of course) that I stopped seing Honcho, instead I met a waaayyy better man for me. ha!

you know, after reading what I just wrote, I think I'm just jealous of your beauty. oh Laurentia...

Have a nice weekend all...

When I thought 20,000 people gathering in Dam Square was unbelievably crowded, I still can not imagine how 140,000 dead bodies in Asia looks like.

I know I have no right to tell you all to do something, but DO SOMETHING !

Even the elementary students here are giving their 2 euros pocket money for the disaster.

And me, the real Asian, I bite my lips to hold my tears everytime I see the news. Yet, I am just too busy to open internet banking webpage and too poor to transfer 10 euro.
Until a great guy reminded me that the tears came from feeling not being able to help, and he showed how simple it is to do something.

So, please friends....

Anyway, I had a quiet christmas and a..rather crowdier new year. yes, very informative, Laurentia. I got headache from too much sleeping and it just feels good to be on my desk again.

Everything is turning too fast. I haven't even done half of my birthday resolutions, and there are already 2005 resolutions to do. who am I kidding.

I'll have one final look at the past, before moving on.

2004 highlights.. and what I have learned....

Winter
*Skiing. Honestly, there was more rolling down than skiing. But still: Yippiiii...
*Found several proofs that everything happens for a reason. I just needed to start from learning to forget, close the door, open the window, start new, do not compare, do not regret, and just like that, I'm happy. again.

Spring
*When my brother taught me so many useful things from those sci-fi movies he always watched, I learned who was actually the nerd: I freaked out if I wore the wrong shoes!
*Myself time. I discovered that plucking my eyebrows while treating my hair, and accompanied only with a cup of tea on Sunday evening, is a need.

Summer
*When I could laugh about simple things with you (yes, you..), I learned that relationship does not have to be difficult.

*I learned not to think my relationship is crappy when we fight about stupid things. Because in fact, only very intimate people (brother-sister, husband-wife) can fight about stupid things.

*Indonesia. A big relief to see how my family is getting along, how my town is still my town, my grandma is in great health. ah, also learned that eventhough you haven't met someone in years, she can still be your bestfriend.

Autumn
*Internship. Realized how spoiled I have been, only doing things that I want to do. Also learned that pure luck does not exist, we can only try to be at the right place at the right time.
*When my love one came to me with folded face, tired eyes and complains from his lips, I learned to shut my mouth and not to give advice, but just look in his eyes to say that I understand.

Winter.
*Temptations are temptations. 'Go with the flow' is childish in most matters. Learned to stick to my faith.
*Problems everywhere. But when I was falling down, I found two best girls, Mel and Sunny, my strong safety net.
*Respect.

Because no matter how thin you slice it, there will always be two sides of everything.


What a year....



p.s Happy birthday dear Mel!